My Voice Is Beautiful

The theme for this month is “My Black is Beautiful,” and as a Hispanic woman, I wasn’t sure how I would speak on this. My siblings are all half-Black and have experienced overcoming toxic beauty standards fed to them through the media, but it didn’t feel right for me to speak on their behalf about their personal experiences. I wanted to focus on how the theme spoke to me and find a way to connect on a more personal level.

After talking to my mom, I remembered that the definition of beauty is not always physical. Beauty can also be your presence, your voice, your influence– beauty is whatever you feel it is. For me, I think being a strong communicator and speaking up for what you believe in is beautiful. It’s also a trait that many women of color are afraid to showcase because of the perception that comes from being “loud” or “aggressive” when you express an opinion that differs from the masses. 

After our conversation, my mom sent me a blog titled “Black Women, It Is Okay To Let Go Of Your Cape,” and the message resonated with me. The entry talked about how the narrative of being a “strong Black woman” ends up causing Black women to over-exert themselves and not ask for help when it’s needed because they don’t want to appear weak. As a Hispanic woman, I was raised with a similar mindset.

Growing up, my parents always reminded me that I had to be sharper than my white counterparts. They told me that I’m judged under a stronger microscope, so I have to stay on my A-game at all times and never let them see me falter. While that message was true, I didn’t realize how much it stuck with me throughout my professional development. For years, I sat on the sidelines and was fearful of speaking up on subjects that I had an opinion on because I didn’t want to be seen as the angry Latina. I bottled up frustrations and allowed myself to be a fly on the wall rather than contributing to change. 

Over time, that bottling began to bleed into my mental health. I started developing severe anxiety whenever I had an opinion because I didn’t want people to have a bad perception of me if I were to vocalize it. “Why are you being difficult?” was the question I thought people would ask themselves if I were to ruffle feathers and speak on a subject I was passionate about. I then started to feel useless and, in turn, lost the determination I once had. I felt myself slip into a darker mindset, but I didn’t want to be seen as weak, so I didn’t tell anyone what I was feeling. I had to be strong for myself and my family. 

It wasn’t until I began working here that I really started to feel like I could make my voice heard. Seeing Denise, a strong woman of color that people all over the city admire because of her views, reminded me of the importance my opinion can carry. She was affecting change all throughout the Indy area, and people praised her for it. That, to me, was beautiful. 

After a few months working for Herd Strategies with other strong people of color, I began to break down my barriers and speak up when I had something to say, and it was freeing. I felt a tension lift from my shoulders and realized just how much confidence came from being in an environment where I wasn’t afraid to speak up and ask for help. It made me like the person that I saw in the mirror more.

My voice is beautiful, and so is yours. Whatever you do in life, never forget that.