Full of Pride
When I was in college, one of my closest friends shared with me that he is gay. Now mind you, I had already suspected this, but it wasn’t my place to ask or judge, so I did neither. I just loved him. I loved him like a brother, and if anyone ever made the fateful mistake of saying something disparaging about his sexuality, I would defend him with every fiber of my being.
I remember the day he told me. He gave me a book called “Best Friends Are For …”. It was a book of cartoon illustrations sharing the role of a best friend. He had put a Post-It note on a specific page. I took the book and opened it to the page he’d designated, and it read “Best friends are for telling your mother that you’re gay.” I looked up at him, smiled and said, “So are you asking me to tell your mother?” He immediately burst into laughter and gave me a hug. That hug – I will never forget it. It was as if he felt free. My reaction gave him the freedom to fully love me as his friend because he knew my love for him was pure and honest.
It’s been nearly 35 years since that day, and I can truthfully say that my support for our queer community has never changed. I know there are some that would not agree with my position, but I don’t care. I cannot and will not tell someone who they can, or they cannot love. It is not my place to question how someone identifies themselves or whether they see themselves as male, female or neither. What I must do – in fact what we all must do is listen, learn, ask, and respect the opinions of those who think, feel, love, and live differently from us. That’s all any of us want. To be heard and respected.
Several years ago, I had the opportunity to witness a dear friend marry his soulmate. The ceremony was small – only two witnesses and the officiant. It took place on their balcony at sunrise, and I cried like a baby. I always cry at weddings and this one was no different. You know why? Because marriage is a commitment of love like no other. I also recalled a time in our lives when this ceremony could never have happened and might have cost them their lives.
June is Pride month, a time where we highlight our LGBTQ+ community. I encourage us all to take a moment to sit back and think about how you would feel if there were laws in place that kept you from being with the one you love. Or if hatred on the part of others kept you from living your life freely and openly. We must open our hearts and minds and become more willing to accept people for who they are and leave judgment at the front door. And if you’re ever in doubt, just remember the words of writer and activist James Baldwin who said, "You have to go the way your blood beats. If you don't live the only life you have, you won't live some other life, you won't live any life at all." His words apply to us all.