April’s Letter From Denise

April 2025

I am sitting at my desk trying to gather my thoughts for the monthly newsletter, and all I can think about is my never-ending to-do list and how tired I am right now. I’m so exhausted that my eyes are starting to burn. That kind of tired that if I were a two-year-old, I’d have to suck it up and take the spanking that would be the outcome of my falling out in a tantrum in the living room. That tiredness brings on stress-induced ailments, over-eating, and other violations that we know are not in our best interest.

But when I think about how tired I am right now, it’s not lost on me that there was a time when I was even more exhausted, stressed, out of control, and, frankly, unhappy.  Looking back, my last job before starting my company was fraught with stressors that made me feel hopeless.  The workplace was abusive and riddled with toxic behaviors. I was humiliated daily, both in front of others and behind closed doors, criticized to my face and talked about behind my back. Saying I walked on eggshells doesn’t begin to capture the constant anxiety I felt.

I knew I should quit, but I felt like I couldn’t.  Leaving would seem a sign of weakness, and I prided myself on being strong. I wore my super-hero cape to work every day and used my golden wristbands to deflect the harm coming my way. I didn’t understand that the company I worked for and my boss had the same effect on me as Kryptonite does on Superman. 

In looking up the definition of Kryptonite (fictitious, by the way), it is described as emitting a unique, poisonous radiation that can weaken and even kill. My organization and the stress it imposed upon me were like Kryptonite. They were killing me. It wasn’t until my boss ceremoniously fired me that I realized the danger I was in.

 When I was fired, it was humiliating yet freeing. In her last hurrah, my boss forced me to leave the building through the back door so the staff wouldn't see my exit. But as I walked down those back stairs to my car, it felt like the rug had been pulled out from underneath me, and the stress had vanished along with it. 

I didn’t know what was in store for me, but I recognized how I felt, which would serve as the baseline for understanding how I never wanted to feel again. That same day, I began my entrepreneurial journey and never looked back. There have been good days and some bumpy ones, too, but the tools I have for managing my stressors and understanding my triggers help me navigate the out-of-control curveballs that life throws our way.

April is Stress Awareness Month, and I encourage you to take time to inventory your life and understand your stressors. That was one thing I didn’t do, and I sometimes regret it. Understanding your stressors places you on a pathway to identifying a solution to address them. I also wish I had recognized that there is no shame in asking for help and had talked to someone.  If I can offer some advice from my experience, don’t be afraid to ask your friends and family for help– they love you unconditionally. If you’re not ready to speak to your circle, a professional provides a safe place to exhale and receive sound advice and tools to manage your stress. But whatever you do, don’t allow yourself to ignore your stress signals.

 So, as April showers bring May flowers, I encourage you to wash away your stressors to blossom to your fullest potential.  You’ve got this.

Signing off,

Denise

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