The Night a Drag Queen Opened My Mind

It’s Pride Month, a time when we give a hat tip and a nod to members of our LGBTQIA+ community. We’ve come so far since the days of the Stonewall riots when people decided enough was enough and retaliated against the brutalities inflicted by law enforcement. But while progress has been made, more work must be done to ensure members of our queer community feel safe, have equal access, and the quality of life we all strive for.

In college, one of my closest friends was openly gay. While he didn’t “come out” to me until we were seniors, he never hid who he was or how he loved. I admired his courage, especially when we would hang out and people would stare or even frown while watching his behavior. I loved him to pieces, and he opened my eyes in so many ways and the impact of our friendship still resonates with me to this day.

Decades ago, he took me to my first drag show. I had to admit I was shocked, and at times stunned speechless. The performers were so talented and looked flawless. While we were watching the show, one of the performers who knew my friend came and joined us. I began to remark on her pristine makeup application. After a few minutes, she said, “Denise, come with me.” The next thing I knew we were backstage; I was seated in her makeup chair, and she was giving me a makeup tutorial. At first, I was offended – I had been wearing makeup for years and thought I looked pretty good. But as I watched my transformation, I had to let go. The results were amazing. 

From M.A.C. to Bobbi Brown, I had received makeup applications from the best of the best. But it took a drag queen in a little hole-in-the-wall club to show me what I was working with and how to make it shine. For years we have discounted members of our queer community. I am so glad that I had that experience. It reminded me that we should never discount someone just because we think they’re different. That drag queen and I had a lot in common. We both wanted to look pretty. 

It’s Pride Month. Take a moment to understand our queer community. You might be surprised by how similar you are.